


forgotten

by SUNNYONG



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Hospital, Angst, Dementia Patient! Taeyong, DoTae are both suffering from diseases, Lowercase, M/M, Medical Inaccuracies, Minute Fluff, Neurologist! Taeil, Pediatrician! Doyoung, Sad Ending, Soft Taeyong
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-18
Updated: 2019-08-18
Packaged: 2020-09-06 16:44:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,124
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20294716
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SUNNYONG/pseuds/SUNNYONG
Summary: taeyong just wanted to live his life to the fullest, because he knew it would end soon. he forgot all emotions— except love. because whenever he would look at doyoung, he would suddenly remember it. he wanted to take care of doyoung, keep him safe and loved. but taeyong forgot, forgot that doyoung didn't have a strong enough heart to hold his hand forever.because all love stories don't have a happy ending, and in this case— one forgot love and the other couldn't live enough to complete the story.





	forgotten

it was a bright, sunny morning with the sky as blue as the wonderful ocean. the skies were shining and the clouds were fluffy, the birds chirping melodies that remain unknown to the humankind.

beautiful butterflies and magnificent birds flew around in the sky, decorating the pale blue sky with a palette full of bright colors. the season was summer, the season of happiness and joy. the season of euphoria.

lee taeyong lay on his bed, humming a popular song he heard the little girls sing with their high-pitched vocals. he would probably forget that melody, but that didn't stop him from humming whatever he thought sounded beautiful.

his gaze shifted to his window, and he saw the wonders of nature and anyone who saw his smile then would definitely say that sun seemed dull in front of his smile. he was a bright, young individual with an adorable smile and high hopes of living.

he was optimistic and believed that whatever happens to someone is for the good. everyone loves him, from little children to old grandmothers. he's a very soft and lovable plushie, but god never makes anyone too perfect.

"taeyong! how are you feeling today?" doctor moon taeil enters taeyong's room, with a notepad in his hand and a wonderful smile on his lips. taeyong nods his head like an excited child and shows taeil his thumb, "very good, taeilie!"

taeil smiles at the younger, his heart warming at how innocent the man in front of him was. taeil's eyes landed on the report in his hands, and he tried his best to not let his smile drop. taeyong didn't deserve any of this, he is such an angel. "what's up, doc? anything... wrong?"

taeil immediately looks up at taeyong with worried eyes and shakes his head violently, praying that taeyong doesn't understand anything. "oh no, yong! everything is super fine! just here to run some simple exercises!"

taeyong nods, pressing his back against the bed to relax a bit more. "what did you eat for dinner yesterday?" taeil asked the younger, knowing very well that taeyong wouldn't be able to answer the question after looking at his latest reports.

taeil realized that taeyong zoned out after hearing the question, and a blank face was staring back at him with no expression. taeil wanted to calm himself down, not break down in front of taeyong.

"i-i, i don't remember, doc."

taeil closed his eyes and took a deep breath, and taeyong just stayed silent and observed the doctor. and once taeil opened his eyes, he saw a teary-eyed taeyong calmly staring back at him. "taeyong, it's okay—"

"my condition is worsening, right?" taeyong sniffles but his smile remained bright as the sun that shone outside in the blue sky. taeil had no choice but to nod, he couldn't lie to taeyong because taeyong would see right through the lies.

"u-um, you can go out to the gardens." taeil turns around to leave, his tears shining even under the dimly lit room. taeyong wipes away his tears as he hears the door shut, and just lays on his bed for a few moments.

he stared at the ceiling, his mind as blank as a sheet of paper. he tried to recall the events of the day before, but nothing crossed his mind. he was slowly going to die at this rate, he thinks to himself about the consequences of his death but realizes that there were none.

he didn't have any family— or you could say, he didn't remember his family. he didn't even know if his parents knew about taeyong's condition, he didn't even know if they were alive or not. taeyong really didn't have anyone to love— he knew he couldn't have anyone.

he'd probably forget them too, and he didn't want to hurt someone he loved so dearly. he deeply sighed, getting up from his bed and slipping on his shoes to go around the gardens. it's been a month since he was allowed to so he was excited to see what new flora the gardens inhabited.

he gently walks and exits his room, shutting the door on his way out. he walked down the hallways, flashing awkward smiles at the audience that stared at him. taeyong didn't do well with strangers— any stranger who approached him, taeyong would just yell at them.

fortunately, no one approached him then so he didn't yell at anyone and successfully neared the gardens. it was different than a month ago, it was more colorful and bright and the aroma of the flowers calmed taeyong. it was almost therapeutic, and taeyong appreciated it.

he caught onto something foreign, there was noise too, that enveloped the atmosphere of the gardens. it wasn't too disturbing, instead, it made taeyong smile. it was the sound of little children laughing and playing, enjoying the fruits of summer and the beautiful blue sky.

taeyong's gaze diverts to the little children— there were about four, three girls and one boy. they all seemed happy with each other's company and bounced around the freshly cut grass, the boy plucking out little daisies for the girls, who gladly accepted their friend's generous gift.

it was a beautiful sight to devour, the children looked so happy and joyous that taeyong almost grinned. "come on, kiddos! it's time for some tests!" taeyong frowned at that voice, of course, the little kids were sick and taeyong quickly prayed for their recovery before glancing at the person whom the raspy voice belonged to. 

taeyong believed in angels, he believed that those invisible creatures existed but maybe god forgot to lock away one angel in heaven. the man was absolutely ethereal and godly, everything the man had was just beyond the words in any language.

taeyong hid behind a pillar, so the man wouldn't spot him and ask him unnecessary questions or anything of that sort. taeyong just observed how the little children gathered around him, giggling and jumping around the man as he ruffles their hair.

the man smiled at the sight of the children and taeyong mimicked, taeyong liked children. the man crouches to reach to the level of the little children, and all of them attack him with little kisses and the man just allows the assault to happen.

"doctor, doctor! wanna playing running race with us?" one of the girls asked and the other kids squealed at the idea proposed and taeyong saw how the man's face paled at the idea. "u-um, mina, i-i don't want to,"

"doctor! no excuses, you're running with us!" the girl, mina, pulled the supposed doctor to get up and pulled him to the gardens. taeyong noticed that the doctor just walked, didn't run like he wished. 

the doctor somehow managed to convince the kids to play without him as he stood there watching them run around, and taeyong watched the man instead. he looked very soft and his features complimented his aura too, his hair was brown and fluffy and his eyes sparkled. 

when the man smiled, oh, he looked so cute. almost like a little bunny, taeyong would conclude. "young man, i can see you there." taeyong's little session was abruptly interrupted by this said doctor, and the frightened patient turned around to hide behind the pillar again.

"oops," taeyong exhaled loudly, but yelled as soon as he felt someone place their hand on his shoulder. taeyong turned around to see that doctor, his arms now folded and his expression was pretty stern. "h-hello, doctor!" taeyong tried to smile brightly, he usually didn't get in trouble if just smiled his way out.

"hello, young man. i noticed you were out here for long, may i know your status?" taeyong cowered a little, he didn't like strangers questioning him but this doctor seemed nice! "i'm sorry, doctor! uh, doctor moon taeil told me it's fine to go out here so i just came by and saw you," taeyong trailed off, he didn't want to tell the stranger how he was basically checking him out.

"ah, taeil. okay, your status and name?" the doctor now seemed pretty warm after taeyong mentioned taeil, maybe they knew each other or something. "i'm lee taeyong! and i'm a patient under the supervision of neurologist moon taeil!" that's what taeil taught him to say when someone asked him his name and status.

the doctor paused for a while, scanning taeyong's entire body and then, smiled brightly. "well, taeyong. i'm doctor kim doyoung, a pediatrician."

—

taeil didn't know where taeyong always ran off to with the excuse of playing in the gardens, because taeil knew that taeyong didn't go to the gardens anymore. it was probably two weeks after taeil allowed taeyong to leave his room, and he regretted his decision.

"he just disappears, john! i'm just so worried!" taeil rants to his husband on the phone, who already is pretty stressed with all his cases. "taeil, it's okay. let the poor boy wander around for a bit, he's going to be fine—"

"johnny! it's not okay!"

how did johnny even marry this man? "okay, moon. i'm getting tired with your constant taeyong talks, let him breathe or else i'm going to take medicine and treat him instead of you!" as harsh as it sounds, johnny meant that in a totally light way. "shut the fuck up, lawyer."

"taeilie! i want you meet my friend!" taeil almost squealed when he heard taeyong's voice and immediately hung up on his husband, and turned around to see his patient smiling brightly at him. "yongie, my son!" taeil runs to taeyong and engulfs the little boy in a warm hug, and taeyong pushes the elder off him in a second.

"taeilie, no. you have to meet my friend!" taeyong frowned at the older when he tried to attack him with another hug, and taeil finally gave up. "okay, fine. who is this friend of yours?" taeil huffs in annoyance and taeyong smiles anyways, snapping his fingers.

and on cue, walks out a very familiar doctor and taeil almost chuckles at how taeyong managed to be friends with him. "doctor doyoung! my favorite pediatrician!" taeil runs to doyoung and hugs him and taeyong giggles a doyoung's disgusted expression.

"that's enough human contact, taeil hyung." doyoung pushes taeil away and the older pouts, he's getting pushed away by everybody today. "ay, don't you have an appointment with doctor seulgi? a special heart-to-heart appointment?" taeil winks at doyoung, who tries to contain his smile by motioning taeil to stop it but fails anyways.

taeyong frowned for no reason whatsoever, he didn't like doyoung smiling because of someone else but him— wait, what? "okay, i was kidding. you should really go, i saw your reports and seulgi told me she really needs to check your heart but i told her that she already has it—"

"taeil hyung, shut up!"

taeyong didn't like how flustered doyoung looked, he didn't like when taeil mentioned that cardiologist, he didn't like anything that was happening now. no one seemed to notice his down behavior, and even doyoung wasn't paying attention to him! so, so unfair!

the doctors stopped conversing when they were interrupted by taeyong whining loudly, stomping his feet like a little angered lollipop deprived child. "stop talking about doctor seulgi and doyoungie! he doesn't like her!"

all the three were surprised by taeyong's outburst, and before doyoung could open his mouth, taeil beat him to it. "oh yes, indeed. doyoung doesn't like her—" finally taeil stopped, taeyong almost sighed in relief. "he loves her!"

and taeil was, once again, attacked by a furious pediatrician and taeyong frowned and huffed. he folded his arms, and glared at taeil but he didn't know why his gaze softened when he looked at doyoung. 

he didn't know why his heart fluttered when he looked at the younger doctor, he didn't know why he remembered every single memory with him and doyoung in it. he didn't know why he was so bothered by taeil's irrational teasing, he just didn't know why.

taeyong didn't know why he felt so, healthy around doyoung, like taeyong has no illness at all. like doyoung mended his wings and let him soar freely, like doyoung kept him away from all troubles of the world.

he didn't know when he started associating happiness with doyoung, he didn't know when he started to feel something else for doyoung, and taeyong knows it's not what friends feel for each other.

taeyong's mind was filled with so many thoughts, oh, he really needed to go out in the open and think everything out. he looked up at the doctors and once he found them still bickering, he stealthily escaped to the gardens and sat by some pillar.

taeyong placed his face onto his knees, as he crouched down to sit. the sun was shining and yelled summer, and taeyong's heart was racing and yelled some unknown emotion. taeyong overheard taeil talking to some nurses about his condition.

and unsurprisingly, his condition is just worsening day by day. they said that he's starting to forget emotions slowly but why does taeyong suddenly remember the emotion of happiness when doyoung appears in front of him?

is it, love? taeyong doesn't remember what that is but taeil spoke a lot about it, and said it was an emotion that two people felt when they start considering each other their world. did taeyong feel that doyoung was his entire world? did he?

taeyong didn't know, and he just hoped whatever he's feeling for doyoung isn't love because he's so damn afraid. he's so afraid of experiencing love because if he starts considering doyoung his entire world then, then he might, you know.

forget him.

he doesn't want to forget doyoung, he wants to keep doyoung with him forever. the feeling of reassurance doyoung gives him by just existing is just too precious to lose, he doesn't want to lose what keeps him alive.

doyoung's smile— how can taeyong live without it? it's the main factor that makes taeyong remember the emotion of happiness and if he loses that? oh no, it just scares taeyong by just thinking about it.

and that's when taeyong freezes, it finally hits him. how taeyong imagined the world— a land of pure happiness, gives taeyong the hope to continue, a place where taeyong feels safe. and doesn't he consider doyoung that? does that mean—

no, it can't be. it can't be that he's in love— "with me?" taeyong's thoughts are suddenly interrupted by doyoung, and taeyong flinches at how sudden it was. taeyong stands up and turns around, and looks at doyoung in fear. did he read taeyong's mind?

"taeyong, did you hear me? do you want to get coffee with me?" taeyong sighs inwardly when doyoung's question doesn't mimic taeyong's, and the older still turns his back on doyoung. "go with doctor seulgi, don't you love her?"

taeyong felt offended when doyoung laughed, but when doyoung back-hugged him, taeyong thought his heart would almost jump out. taeyong's heart was almost going to give up when doyoung nuzzled his face into taeyong's neck, snuggling into the older's back.

"are you jealous? mhm, i know you are. but it's okay, i don't like seulgi. i like you," taeyong's goddamn heart, can it just stop? "u-uh, let's get coffee!" taeyong wiggles his way out of doyoung's embrace, and the doctor smiles at the older.

"okay, let's go." the two walk to the hospital cafeteria together, taeyong clinging onto the doctor's sleeve as a way to avoid any human trying to speak to him. both of them reach the cafeteria, and taeyong offers to get coffee for both of them.

doyoung hesitates, he doesn't know if taeyong will remember the people working in the cafeteria and cower away but he wants to give taeyong's recovery a chance. doyoung makes taeyong repeat their order numerous times, and taeyong tries his best to remember it.

taeyong finally walks up to the counter to order, and the person on the counter waves at taeyong. the korean smiles at the stranger, figuring that he probably forgot the person. "uhm, i'd like—"

and taeyong's mind goes blank, he couldn't remember anything all of a sudden. the person at the counter waited for taeyong, they knew taeyong's issue so they were patient with him. "i'd like, cake?" was that what they were going to have? maybe.

doyoung was very disappointed when taeyong came back with two plates of cake instead of two cups of coffee, but he sealed off his disappointment with a smile. "ah, you remembered!" it pained doyoung to lie to taeyong, but for that smile, he'd give up his life.

they conversed about many things, from the weather to taeyong's current favorite melody. and while they were conversing, doyoung took a bite of the cake casually and it shocked taeyong when doyoung started furiously choking, followed by trying to catch his breath.

taeyong pulled away doyoung's plate, and offered him water but doyoung just pointed to his chest. taeyong didn't know what doyoung was trying to say, was taeyong forgetting something? taeyong's worries increased when doyoung seemed to slowly close his eyes, and he called for a nurse nearby and doyoung was off to doctor seulgi's office. and taeyong still didn't know why. 

he forgot that doyoung has a weak heart.

—

nine months later, taeyong's condition was at peak. he refused to get out of his room, complained of migraines and painful headaches. he would throw anything at anyone he wouldn't recognize, from scalpels to removing his iv tubes to throw.

he was going insane, and taeil wasn't amused by his reports. taeil didn't attend taeyong for a while, stayed away from him to further study his condition and only came to one conclusion regardless. no matter how much he would try to restart his studies, he would always end up with that same conclusion.

taeil wanted to cry when doyoung called him one day, ranting for hours and hours about how he fell in love with taeyong. how will taeil tell doyoung that taeyong's survival chances are so slim? how will taeil tell doyoung that taeyong is slowly forgetting people and that doyoung may be forgotten?

taeil was in distress, he didn't know what to do. he couldn't do anything, taeyong's medical conditions started piling up and his immune system was slowly failing. taeyong was prone to life-threatening diseases now and considering the fact that his dementia is worsening, it doesn't help at all.

doyoung's condition? even worse than taeyong. doyoung couldn't attend his own patients anymore, he needed more medical attention than the children he attended. day by day, doyoung's heart would pump less blood than the day before but it didn't stop beating. for taeyong.

nine months and two weeks in, taeil decided to visit taeyong and break the news to him. how long was taeil going to hide it from taeyong? in the fear of seeing taeyong's hopes of surviving breaking down as his final countdown begins?

taeil wasn't surprised when taeyong threw at him a tray of medical tools, telling the older to get out of his room. taeyong claimed to not recognize taeil, taeyong's best friend for the past nine years. taeyong cried and wailed for taeil to be taken away from his eyes and taeil just complied.

taeil had to come with the terms that he won't be seeing taeyong anymore in a few months, he has to get used to the younger not being around. taeyong, on the other hand, spent days and nights waiting for doyoung to come to his room.

come to his room to sing for him, feed him, do anything with him. he just wanted doyoung to be with him, and doyoung wasn't there. doyoung wasn't there for taeyong when he needed him the most and taeyong cried, his doyoung wasn't the one to abandon.

and doyoung? terribly wanting taeyong by his side, at least wanting to spend his last few breaths with the love of his life. doyoung would just lie on his bed and stare out of his window, seeing the clouds cry with him as he missed the warmth of his life.

both of the lovers who needed each other were separated from one another, and that was more painful than their physical pain. days had gone by, and none of them saw a glimpse of the other. they just reminisced memories of each other, when they actually saw each other.

taeyong dreamed a lot of doyoung, the only person whom he seemed to still remember. taeyong dreamed such irrational fantasies, like him and doyoung having coffee together again, both of them star gazing in each other's arms.

taeyong never wanted to wake up from his dreams, they were better than the agonizing reality. he just wanted to be with doyoung, what was so wrong in that? why wasn't he allowed to be in the arms of the one he loved so much?

—

it was raining heavily, the grey shades of the clouds seemed to darken by each second. and doyoung felt his heartbeat get fainter, and he just smiled. smiled because at least he was going to die with his heart beating only for taeyong,.

he called for a nurse, and asked her if he could make a last wish and after the agreement of doctor seulgi, doyoung was off to taeyong's room. it had been ten whole months since he'd last seen him, and the thought of finally seeing taeyong was exciting doyoung too much.

doyoung wanted to go alone and he was allowed to, he wanted to at least die in the arms of his love alone. with heavy and slow steps, he finally reached taeyong's room and twisted the knob to open the door.

his taeyong lay so peacefully on his bed, starting out the window to watch the rain just like how doyoung did. taeyong was alerted that there was someone at the door and he picked up a glass to throw at this stranger but the moment his eyes met the other person's, he paused.

doyoung couldn't believe he finally saw taeyong, and his eyes started to water. doyoung didn't waste any time and ran to taeyong, disregarding his dying heart, and engulfed him into a hug. doyoung let his tears run down his cheeks, and he hugged taeyong even tighter but taeyong didn't respond.

"excuse me, may i know who you are?"

and that's when doyoung's entire world broke down, in just a second. doyoung pulled away from the hug and just stared at taeyong's face to scan for any trace of him joking, but nothing. taeyong actually forgot him, he forgot doyoung.

what surprised taeyong was that he didn't throw anything at this stranger because he felt something. he felt like he knew this person but didn't know him at the same time, but taeyong could feel the emotion radiating from the person.

doyoung smiled through his tears, he should have anticipated this coming. "can i please just hug you for sometime?" doyoung requested with his tears shining under the room's light, and what broke his heart even further was when taeyong just spread his arms open innocently.

doyoung just lost taeyong and it was just too much for him to take. doyoung let taeyong wrap his arms around him, and snuggled deep into taeyong's chest. the older radiated the same warmth, the same sense of security like before.

doyoung let himself cry for a bit more, and silenced himself. "i love you so much, taeyong." and taeyong felt the stranger's chest freeze, and the stranger just fell limp into taeyong's arms. taeyong didn't even know this person but he couldn't help but cry himself.

doyoung fulfilled his last wish— to die in taeyong's arms. the nurses rushed into taeyong's room and when they took away the man away from taeyong, he could feel them take away half of his soul away.

taeyong didn't know why but it pained him to see the other male's eyes shut, it pained him to see the other male silent. something just didn't feel right, but taeyong didn't know what. and that's how taeyong spent his last ten days, thinking about that male.

on his tenth day, during his last few minutes, taeyong suddenly remembered something from the past. it was this unfamiliar but way too familiar line he was seemingly practicing in the memory. "i love you, doyoung."

and taeyong breathed his last breath and gave up on his life, lettng go of everything and anything. and, on taeil's request, taeyong was buried next to doyoung as taeil hoped if not on earth, maybe they'd live together in heaven forever.


End file.
